I'm after signing myself up for what promises to be a mental March! For the action seekers out there, leave now...when I say mental March, I mean a March that will be slightly busier than the ordinary March. So, lower those expectations, you'll be shocked by how much more enjoyable life is when you drop all preconceived notions and just allow yourself to be amazed. Or so I like to think. When I permit myself to think. If you do it too often the wondrous joy can wear off. And you don't want that. It a rationing exercise.
Anyway, all hesitation regarding brain engagement aside, I really am a bit out of my depth here. I got an email in work that should have gone straight to spam, but instead landed front and center in my inbox. It looked innocent enough, and at twenty to five on a Friday evening I have to admit that I had let my guard down slightly. Before I really knew what was happening I had followed a link to a colourful website and applied to be a contestant on 'I'm a Scientist, get me out of here!' - presumably a spin-off of the reality television staple 'I'm a celebrity....'.
I spent the best part of the following week imagining all it would entail. Instead of eating ostrich bits, we would be given the opportunity to blast them with significant amounts of radiation and record the results in a structured fashion. Instead of just crawling out of a water tank full of baby sharks using blind luck to succeed, we would be allowed repeat the process a number of times to determine margins of error, and obviously a control water tank with no baby sharks would be present to enable viable comparisons to baseline. Bushtucker trials would become Bushtucker clinical trials. The winner would receive a lifetime subscription to 'Scientific America' and rights to publish all breakthrough discoveries from the shows activities.
I immediately began my ground work. Although I was confident enough in my applications of good scientific practice, I assumed that all other aspects of the competition would be equally important. Having no experience in applying fake tan or finding the best position to sleep in with breast enhancements, I knew I had a lot to get through. I downloaded Katie Price's autobiography (to my Kindle obviously...reading that openly at lunch time in work would have breached the terms of my employment I reckon). I hoped to glean some top tips on maintaining a positive mental attitude in tougher times and how to channel all the extra confidence that would be oozing from my E cups. I also started to compile a list of all the insects known to me and their protein content. Scouts motto - be prepared.
Two weeks later, when the email confirming the success of my application came through, I felt ready. I had been to TK Maxx and purchased a fine selection of capri pants. I phoned my doctor and asked for the works immunisation wise - Japanese encephalitis included. That was most likely over cautious on my part but I had eaten some pulled pork of questionable origin from a street stall at the Fringe festival back in August. and have been paranoid ever since.
It was only as I poured through the terms and conditions of my appointment as a contestant that a sinking realisation hit. I would not require any jabs whatsoever, as I would not be leaving the UK. I would not require the fake tan either, as I would not be leaving my computer screen. I would still need the capri pant selection as a reliable source informed me that they will be making a comeback in 2017 (take note!), the silver lining to a very harsh blow. I would not be going to the jungle - that extravagance was apparently reserved for Z-list celebrities only.
The take home point from this blog post is to read the terms and conditions before enthusiastically clicking accept. Not following this advice is a very very bad thing to do. Life is precious, read before you click. However, on this one occasion, I think managed to land on my feet. But it's a statistical anomaly. Don't risk it for a biscuit. You don't need another biscuit anyway. Just saying.
'I'm a Scientist, get me out of here' is in actual fact a science outreach program for kids - scientists are assigned a zone and are in competition with each other for the coming fortnight. Participating classes from schools can book live chat slots where the scientists answer quick fire rounds of questions. Children can also ask whatever science related questions they like on online forums and scientists answer in their spare time. The children vote for the best answers and by the end of the two weeks only the winning scientist remains. The prize is a monetary sum to be spent on science outreach activities. You'll find my profile here in the medical physics zone. Drop in over the next two weeks and see if you can help me out with some of the madness!
In addition to top notch science, I reckon the secret to winning is be down with the kids. #fosho #dude #cool #geeksville #specsareso20now #instagrampositive #instagramnegative #instananogram #heisenbergforpres #ican'teven #ican'todd #nofilt...ration #yolowpressure #doyouevenscience?
...wish me luck!
I spent the best part of the following week imagining all it would entail. Instead of eating ostrich bits, we would be given the opportunity to blast them with significant amounts of radiation and record the results in a structured fashion. Instead of just crawling out of a water tank full of baby sharks using blind luck to succeed, we would be allowed repeat the process a number of times to determine margins of error, and obviously a control water tank with no baby sharks would be present to enable viable comparisons to baseline. Bushtucker trials would become Bushtucker clinical trials. The winner would receive a lifetime subscription to 'Scientific America' and rights to publish all breakthrough discoveries from the shows activities.
I immediately began my ground work. Although I was confident enough in my applications of good scientific practice, I assumed that all other aspects of the competition would be equally important. Having no experience in applying fake tan or finding the best position to sleep in with breast enhancements, I knew I had a lot to get through. I downloaded Katie Price's autobiography (to my Kindle obviously...reading that openly at lunch time in work would have breached the terms of my employment I reckon). I hoped to glean some top tips on maintaining a positive mental attitude in tougher times and how to channel all the extra confidence that would be oozing from my E cups. I also started to compile a list of all the insects known to me and their protein content. Scouts motto - be prepared.
Two weeks later, when the email confirming the success of my application came through, I felt ready. I had been to TK Maxx and purchased a fine selection of capri pants. I phoned my doctor and asked for the works immunisation wise - Japanese encephalitis included. That was most likely over cautious on my part but I had eaten some pulled pork of questionable origin from a street stall at the Fringe festival back in August. and have been paranoid ever since.
It was only as I poured through the terms and conditions of my appointment as a contestant that a sinking realisation hit. I would not require any jabs whatsoever, as I would not be leaving the UK. I would not require the fake tan either, as I would not be leaving my computer screen. I would still need the capri pant selection as a reliable source informed me that they will be making a comeback in 2017 (take note!), the silver lining to a very harsh blow. I would not be going to the jungle - that extravagance was apparently reserved for Z-list celebrities only.
The take home point from this blog post is to read the terms and conditions before enthusiastically clicking accept. Not following this advice is a very very bad thing to do. Life is precious, read before you click. However, on this one occasion, I think managed to land on my feet. But it's a statistical anomaly. Don't risk it for a biscuit. You don't need another biscuit anyway. Just saying.
'I'm a Scientist, get me out of here' is in actual fact a science outreach program for kids - scientists are assigned a zone and are in competition with each other for the coming fortnight. Participating classes from schools can book live chat slots where the scientists answer quick fire rounds of questions. Children can also ask whatever science related questions they like on online forums and scientists answer in their spare time. The children vote for the best answers and by the end of the two weeks only the winning scientist remains. The prize is a monetary sum to be spent on science outreach activities. You'll find my profile here in the medical physics zone. Drop in over the next two weeks and see if you can help me out with some of the madness!
In addition to top notch science, I reckon the secret to winning is be down with the kids. #fosho #dude #cool #geeksville #specsareso20now #instagrampositive #instagramnegative #instananogram #heisenbergforpres #ican'teven #ican'todd #nofilt...ration #yolowpressure #doyouevenscience?
...wish me luck!
